When Life Says, "Your Turn"
The moment life offers us experiences where we can apply our carefully gathered knowledge - and we realise we didn't really know much at all.
This morning I received an email from the lovely Sarah Whitehead, whose courses were some of the very first that shaped my understanding of dogs and behaviour all those years ago.
She was writing about a practical course she is now running, inviting trainers to work directly with rescue dogs at Battersea in the UK.
These are not polished demonstration dogs who know all the right answers, but real dogs with real histories, emotions, fears, quirks and personalities.
As I was reading, I found myself smiling.
Because I remember what it felt like when I first qualified as a trainer and behaviour practitioner.
I can still picture myself walking into my first appointments with my shiny new bag of homemade treats and clicker in hand; a head full of knowledge and a heart full of enthusiasm. I genuinely believed I could change the world... one dog at a time.
It didn’t take very long for life to gently show me otherwise.
Every dog I met had something different to teach me.
Every family had their own story.
Every situation that looked pretty straightforward on paper became beautifully complex the moment real life entered the room.
Over the years I realised that behaviour isn’t something we simply “fix” by applying the right theory or the perfect technique.
Working with dogs and their caregivers has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life.
Both have an extraordinary way of putting our egos quietly back in their place.
They invite us to stop trying so hard to be the expert with all the answers, and instead become deeply curious observers.
To listen more.
To notice more.
To be fully present with what is actually unfolding in front of us.
The answers rarely arrive wrapped up in neat little packages.
More often they emerge through countless small moments of trial and error. Through frustration. Through patience. Through trying something different. Through discovering what doesn’t work before stumbling across what does.
Looking back, those moments I once thought were setbacks were often the greatest teachers.
Not because the dog’s behaviour suddenly became “better.”
But because I became different.
I began to understand dogs more deeply.
I began to understand people more compassionately.
And perhaps most surprisingly, I began to understand myself.
It struck me this morning that maybe this doesn’t just apply to dogs.
Perhaps it’s true of life itself.
We can read all the books.
Listen to the podcasts.
Take the courses.
Work with therapists and coaches.
Gather beautiful ideas and inspiring wisdom.
And all of it has value.
But eventually life smiles gently at us and says,
“Your turn.”
Not so we can prove how much we’ve learned.
But so we can experience it for ourselves.
I’ve found that some of my deepest insights haven’t come from asking, “Why is this happening?” or “What should I do?”
They’ve come from much quieter questions.
What is actually presenting itself to me right now?
How am I experiencing this moment?
What meaning am I giving it?
Those questions have a way of slowing everything down.
They soften the need to rush towards an answer and create space for something else to emerge.
A deeper knowing.
An intuitive nudge.
A quiet next step that no book, course or guru could possibly have given me, because it belonged uniquely to this moment... and to me.
Perhaps that’s what experience really offers us.
Not answers, solutions and resolutions. Not even certainty of any outcome.
But relationship: With ourselves. With others.
With life itself.
And maybe that’s where the real learning has been waiting all along.
🥰